I fucking love donuts.

An only child, I surprisingly loved to share. I would invite friends over and perform for them, make them watch my ice skating shows on the television, give them a makeover, and give them some of my many things. I had lots of things. As an only child, my social skills weren't the best but my claim to entertain and please always worked for me. I am still improving my social skills to this day. I never had a big sister or brother to say, "Hillary, shut up!" so I never knew that sometimes I should stay quiet. I was very annoying and always very hyper. But with a huge heart and sensitive soul it somehow balanced my downfalls. I'm also extremely talented and creative so people always like that.

One thing I don't like is my inability to say no to a donut. I think my passion for eating everything and anything all the time roots down to my health nut Mom who weighed her food and mine, had my cholesterol tested when I was four, and fed me rice cakes with sugar free peanut butter while all the other kids got Doritos and PB and Fluff sandwiches on spongy delicious white bread. I felt screwed always. So when the opportunity arose for some unhealthy and delicious treats, I jumped on it.

Sally had a birthday in 2nd grade. She brought Dunkin Donuts for each child in our class. Hell yes! The best day ever. I was so happy that Sally was born. Mmm... donuts.

In an attempt to be patient, I eyed the teacher passing the donuts out. I thought "that's not fair that she is starting with that side of the classroom! by the time it gets to me, i won't get the one i want!" Slightly upset with no impulse control I announced "I want a strawberry one please!" If I wasn't to speak up, I would have watched my beautifully bright and colorful flamingo pink donut be handed to another classmate. I was protecting my assets by announcing them as mine. Also I thought it was helpful that my fellow classmates knew I really wanted that one so they would feel guilty choosing it before me. I'm so smart.

My heartbeat relaxed a little after I verbally claimed the donut, but it was still not in my mouth. She finally got to me, and the perfect flamingo pink strawberry donut was in my chubby fingers. Life was great.

Within a few seconds, the donut was devoured and an empty napkin with crumbs was left on my desk. Dammit, I want more! I want more!

Another classmate of mine hardly even seemed to care that there was a beautiful chocolate long john sitting on her desk. How could she not appreciate the beauty that sat before her? She must be crazy! So the minute she looked away, I snatched it and shoved it in my mouth.

Luckily there was a few extras so she was still able to enjoy our class treat. I probably would have kept this Donut Dialogue as top secret if she had been left with no donut to have. Now that would be even more embarrassing. So for my birthday which is coming up April 1st, please feel free to bring me donuts. My favorites are strawberry, chocolate long johns, cinnamon sugar, and glazed, and the chocolate munchkins.

Forever appreciative, Hillary